Put Your Ape-Like Tendencies Into Action

The male sex is often seen as a creature that displays living conditions similar to those of a beast that thrives in the wild, such as: living in filth, grunting, beating their chest and shoving food in their face with disregard where it really lands. Their only true motivating source is their need to breed year-round, so they will swing through forests to impress the female brute. 

That said, what better way to express your involuntary animalistic urges than to pull pranks in a gorilla costume?

Grunting is strongly encouraged, if not necessary. The best part is, no one will know who you are in this suit, so GO BANANAS!

1. Grocery Store: Fill a basket with bananas, a banana cream pie, banana yogurt, banana chips.. You see where I’m going with this? Maybe buy some extra large condoms in the process to up the discomfort level of the cashier!

2. Elevator: I think we can all agree that elevators are the best places to make people feel uneasy. People of all occupations go in and out of these small cramped places, only to stand and look around in silence. Use this to your full advantage in your obnoxious gorilla suit. How about walking in and facing your victims the entire time the elevator is running while picking your gorilla nostril? The taller the building, the better. 

3. Second Date: If you are all about awkward situations, show up on a date in a gorilla costume. Maybe you have that one misguided friend who continually signs you up for blind dates? Perfect timing for revenge. However, the second or tenth date may be the best opportunity to transform into a banana-eating ape. If you are trying to shake the crazy lady from Hell, solely put on this Earth to crush your sense of manhood, make sure to show up in this hairy suit. Refuse to even take off the mask to give her a smooch at the end of the night, and she will be sure to keep her crazy paws off you. Forever.  If she has a sense of humor and things are going pretty well, deliver a basket of fruit to her office while wearing the suit.

4. The Airport: If you are feeling ballsy, the airport is a spectacular place to be surrounded by folks from all over the world, making it prime prank real estate. You could wear a sign saying you are from a country you secretly despise. You could also walk in the opposite direction on moving walkways or sit directly next to the most stuck-up looking broad waiting at the gate. The airport is the perfect place to go nuts with pranks, just be sure to watch out for security. 

5. The New Roommate: Everyone has stories about nightmare roommates. If you are about to move in to a household of one or more roommates which are randomly assigned to you by the management, that you met through an ad on Craigslist, or not actually your friends or even people you know, make sure to arrive on move-in day in a gorilla costume. Be sure to have already signed the lease and everything set in stone, so you can have your future roomies questioning their decision to share a dwelling with you. You cannot speak the whole time during your move-in day, except for gorilla grunts and growls. Take breaks between waves of moving furniture with a few bananas. This prank is especially golden if your new roommates are women. 

Anyway you ape it, you will surely cause discomfort, awkwardness and hopefully a few chuckles. 

Molly Nelson is a writer for HalloweenCostumes.com. She offers her services to co-star in your prank or low-budget action adventure as a scream queen or a banana.