A Serial Pooper Is Loose In New Mexico

I’ve heard that when a runner needs to drop a deuce it’s often called “Runner’s Trot” or as I just found out via Wikipedia, it’s also known as “The Gingerbread Man”. Thanks Wikipedia for ruining my childhood memories.

Doctors aren’t sure why an estimated 20-50% of distance runners get the urge to shit themselves, but the tips below could help prevent The Gingerbread Man from running down your leg.

• Don’t eat for two hours before you have to run – a double-cheeseburger in your stomach 20 minutes before you run 10 miles is a sure way to piss off your bowels.

• Don’t drink coffee or warm fluids, as this is known to speed up the movement of fluids through your intestines.

• Limit your dairy intake and high fiber foods.

• Don’t eat foods that you know produce gas or loose stools. You can treat yourself to Taco Bell after your run.

• Drink plenty of fluids. Down 16 oz. of water an hour before your workout, giving the excess fluid time to pass through, and start off well-hydrated.  I don’t think beer counts.

• Be aware of your bowel habits and try to time your workouts for after such movement times.  Goes back to not eating two FiberOne™ bars or a gallon of prune juice before your run.

• If everything else fails and you know that no matter what you do you will at some point need to shit yourself, consider the use of an over-the-counter anti-diarrhea product such as Imodium. Studies have shown this has reduced problems related to exercise-induced diarrhea. Or, strap on an adult diaper.

• Design your training routes to include a restroom. If you develop the urgency while exercising, you will be able to plan your route accordingly.  This does not include taking a dump in your neighbors driveway.

• Last, but not least, no anal sex for 24 hours prior to a race.