4 Tips For Dads Of Teenagers

While fathers play a far more active role in the lives of their children than they did in the past, there’s still not a lot of parenting advice out there compared to what is aimed at mothers. The teen years can be challenging for all parents, but some fathers may feel as though there aren’t as many places for them to get feedback or commiserate about what their role should be during these years. The tips below can help you give your best to your kids during this time.

Listen

One of the most important things you can do for your teen is listen without judgment. This doesn’t mean that you stop being a parent; in fact, you should resist the urge to be a best friend during these years. It does mean that you make it clear to your child that they can come to you about anything, and you’ll work with them to figure out some solutions. Another reason that listening is very important is that, as some parents of kids in this age group already know all too well, teens often clam up around their parents. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s not uncommon for your endlessly chatty twelve-year-old to turn into a moody, monosyllabic fourteen or fifteen-year-old. That means leaving space for them to express themselves and encouraging them when they do.

Help Them Prepare for College

There’s a lot you can do to help your kid prepare for college at this stage. If you attended yourself, you may be able to offer helpful tips based on your own experience, and you might even be eager for your child to attend your alma mater. It’s not unreasonable to bring either of these things up, but be sure that you don’t overdo it. Your teen can start to feel pressured by Dad’s constant tales of what a great time he had in college. Remember that they will have their own ideas about what they want to do and where they want to go that shouldn’t be overshadowed by your experiences.

There are a number of practical things you can do to help them prepare, including helping them research colleges and going on campus visits. You can also help them figure out various ways to pay for their education. One way is by taking out a low-rate private parent loan. With Earnest parent loans for college, parents have the opportunity to borrow money themselves to pay for their child’s education rather than their kid having to take out loans in their own name that they might be repaying for decades.

Give Them Autonomy

It can be tough to let teenagers have autonomy for several reasons. You may still see your teen as the small child they once were rather than the adult they are becoming. As the father, you might also feel either a strong obligation to protect your child or as though you should be in charge of decision-making. However, it’s important to start granting independence to your kid while they are still safe at home so that they can make good decisions on their own when they’re out of the house. There will almost certainly be times when you need to step in on a decision that they are making or even not allow them to do certain things, but try to do so respectfully and with consideration for their input. Trusting them will help them build confidence and resilience.

Expectations and Consequences

Giving them autonomy doesn’t mean dropping all expectations. Especially in terms of giving your kids a well-rounded education and other things to help set them up for success. In fact, even if it doesn’t seem like it, your teen wants a good sense of your boundaries. You don’t have to stay on top of their homework every night to convey that you expect them to do their schoolwork regularly. You definitely should not shield them from proportionate consequences of their behavior, such as poor grades. You may also want to make it clear that you expect them to contribute financially to a vehicle or to their college education. This can mean they need to get a job, perhaps working summers or part-time during the school year. Letting them manage their own relationships with their teachers and employers can give them a good foundation for solving problems on their own as adults.